The Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project was a great idea that just ran out of steam. We removed five cartoon penises— not even ten per cent — when we were shut down because of lack of funding. To this day, I am hunted by those remaining penises… One penis in particular.

Park and Recreation 1x03, The Reporter

“I’m gonna type every word I know! Rectangle! America! Megaphone! Monday! Butthole.”

“Stop. Pooping”

New promo pictures of Parks & Rec were released! Not posting them all ‘cause there are no pictures of Leslie and I’m protesting!

Leslie: There’s some secret ingredient in these Nutrium bars that make me feel so good.
Ann: Sugar. It’s a block of sugar.
Leslie: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Parks & Recreation 2x22, Telethon

Leslie: I have a few more questions for you. “What if he shows up with another woman?” “What if one of my sleeves catches on fire and it spreads rapidly?” “What if, instead of Tic Tacs I accidentally pop a couple of Ambien and I have to keep punching my leg to stay awake?”
Ann: Those are all insane hypotheticals and I promise you they won’t happen!
Leslie: They have happened. All of these have happened to me.

[To the camera]

Leslie: No, there’s more. One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar - I thought it was terrible wine. Once I went out with a guy who wore 3D glasses the entire evening. Oh! - one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy’s motorcycle… and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs. Another time, I went to a really boring movie with a guy and while I was asleep he tried to pull out one of my teeth. I literally woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out a couple of times after that, but then he got weird.

Parks and Recreation 2x04, Practice Date